My Hypnobabies Birth

Being over due is hard stuff. Even though for some reason I knew I would be late. I felt relieved when I hit the 41 week mark because I had an appointment that day. I was looking forward to seeing my little guy on the ultrasound and knowing he was doing okay.

We went in and had our ultrasound and NST done. I loved seeing Carson again. He showed his face for a second and I could see he had chubby cheeks. (And boy when he came out, he sure did have plump cheeks!) He passed the ultrasound with flying colors! No problems at all.

They took us to another room for the NST. Things started out great. He was doing well with the little  braxton hicks I was getting. But as time went on, he wasn't having enough raises in his heart rate. (They needed to see his heart rate raise at least 3 times and see him bring it back down.) They had me drink cold water and they were about to try some kind of buzzer?? At this point I got a strong braxton hicks. We saw his heart rate fall really, really low. The nurse said, "We aren't going to use the buzzer anymore. We'll just have you go see Beth (my midwife)." Cory and I were pretty confused and a little scared.

Once we saw Beth, she told us how great the ultrasound went but she was really concerned about the NST. She said it could be possible my placenta was starting to give out and things may be shutting down. So, she said go right to the hospital to get induced and get labor going! I looked at her and said, "Right now?!?" Beth said, "Yes. Let's have a baby tonight!" I think my mouth dropped wide open. I wasn't expecting that. I thought I would go into that appointment and be sent home for another week to wait for contractions to start. I told her I had a chiropractic appointment right after that appointment. She said I couldn't go! I was looking forward to being adjusted and couldn't believe how serious she was about us getting to the hospital quickly to keep an eye on the baby. I was 4 cm dilated at this point though!

We headed home and told Gammaw we were going to the hospital! We packed and ate a little bit. This really threw me for a loop. In my mind I had imagined going into labor at home and listening to my hypnobabies. I had planned to pack most of my stuff during this time to give me something to do. I was planning on staying at home as long as possible and dealing with each pressure wave as they came until they were pretty close together. My goal was to get to the hospital when I was about 7 cm. None of this happened the way I thought it would, which was fine. Just unexpected.

We got to the hospital and put in our room around 5:30 pm. I had asked for a tub room, but they said the call button wasn't working in the only open tub room. If they got it fixed, I could move there. I didn't mind.

Unfortunately, my doula was not able to make it. Her son had been in and out of the hospital. She offered a back up doula, but I didn't feel comfortable having someone there I had never met or explained what hypnobabies was. So I decided to go without. 

They started pitocin at 6:45 and broke my water soon after. They said if my body kept up a regular rhythm, they would take the pitocin out. I put in my "Easy First Stage" at this point and just relaxed. The pressure waves began and they didn't seem to bother me yet. I just sat and talked excitedly with Cory and Gammaw. Once the pressure waves were more noticeable, I would shut my eyes and stay in my "off" position. Cory caught on quickly whenever I was having a pressure wave. There were a couple times the nurse would come in to take my blood pressure and whatnot. Cory would quietly inform her to wait a minute. When it was over, I opened my eyes and we would continue our conversation.

Here I am listening to my hypnobabies

Cory and Gammaw

This was after they broke my water :)

I didn't really look at the clock or pay any attention to the time so I don't really have a time reference for anything else. Also, I never timed my pressure waves. I have no clue how long they lasted or how far apart they were. I didn't really care. After sitting on the bed, I moved to the birthing ball. My midwife Rachel came in and said I had a great rhythm going with my pressure waves. She asked the nurse to turn down the pitocin. But the nurse had already turned the pitocin down earlier. So, to my relief, Rachel said to go ahead and take it out! Unfortunately, I had to stay on the monitors because they were worried about Carson. They were a little annoying but they had water proof ones so I could move about as I pleased. :)

Now here is my tidbit about pitocin. I didn't find it that unbearable. It definitely made my pressure waves stronger, but not necessarily more uncomfortable. I'm sure I would feel differently if I had pitocin while in transition though. 

After the pitocin was out, I got in the tub. I sat there for quite sometime. Cory sat on the toilet next to me and held my hand the entire time. I kept my "Easy First Stage" track going and noticed my pressure waves getting a bit more uncomfortable. When I say, "a bit more," I mean I had to concentrate a little more. They really were not bad at all. The warm water definitely helped too. I was probably in the tub for a couple of hours...? No idea. I do know that the midwives had a shift change at 10:00 and my midwife Beth came while I was in the tub.

A lot of people said sitting on the toilet was comfortable for them. Not for me. Of course Cory made sure I was drinking plenty of water so that I would stay hydrated and urinate to keep my bladder empty. But I hated sitting on the toilet and avoided it as much as I could.

After being in the tub, I moved back to the bed. I rested against the bed on my knees and tried to get Carson to move down more. I started to get really nauseous.  This is about the point where I puked up my dinner. I don't think Cory will want pasta roni for awhile. I moved back to the birthing ball and my pressure waves really kicked in. I found my own unique rhythm of breathing along with some special rocking movements. I continued to listen to hypnobabies as I entered transition. Cory was so sweet. He would whisper words of encouragement throughout each pressure wave and assured me I could do this. He would tell me he loved me and how amazing I was doing. He was my rock. I would not let him leave my side. With each pressure wave, I would stick my hand out for him to grab on and I would squeeze as hard as I could. It was really comforting to know he was there with me.

I got sick of being on the ball and wanted to move back to the foot of the bed on my knees. This is where I lost it. I was 8 cm. The pressure waves were powerful. I was getting annoyed with having my earphones in. I wish my doula would have been there to put hypnobabies into the cd player. I didn't think about asking anybody else to put it in for me. I wish I had! My earphones were in and out with each pressure wave. I think I eventually just left them out because I don't remember listening to it after. I honestly did not think I could make it for the duration of my labor. I was losing it. I told Cory and Beth I was ready for pain medication. Beth asked if I wanted to try the big tub...which was in a different room. I never got to switch rooms because they never fixed the call button. :( I told Beth I didn't know. I couldn't think. She offered to help me in the tub then if I still wanted pain medication after that, she would do it. I agreed. Little did I know Beth was tricking me.

I stood up in between pressure waves and walked down the hall to the other room. Once I was submerged in the water, I felt better. The pressure waves were more bearable. Cory, Beth, and my nurse surrounded the tub. I was scared Beth and my nurse were going to leave to do other things. But thankfully they stayed put. For some reason I needed them there with me. With each pressure wave, Beth started with the encouraging words. Cory brought the Ipod, but I wanted to listen to Beth instead. She was amazing! She was saying similar things that were on my hypnobabies. Then she wanted to check me again. I was 9.5! She said if I felt like pushing to go ahead and do so.  I did push a little with my next pressure wave which also helped the discomfort. It wasn't long before Beth said it was time to get out and birth my baby! (It's illegal in Iowa to have a water birth).

This is the most ridiculous part of my labor. I find it a bit comical. They had me walk back to my room, fully complete. Let me tell you, it is not fun walking with a baby between your legs. I remember how crazy I looked. I had one hand leaning on Cory, the other on Beth. They basically carried me. I saw a nurse walk by and hoped she had seen this scene quite a few times before. I barely made it back to my room. A strong pressure wave came and I didn't know what to do... since I was standing. Beth told me to just squat where I was. I remember pushing a little. Then when I could, I got back on the foot of the bed.

30 minutes of pushing later, baby Carson had arrived. It was 3:50 am. :) I did pretty good with "Ahhhing" him out. I don't recall yelling or screaming. (Once I was in the recovery room, my nurse came back in and told me how surprised she was that I was so quiet! That made me feel good.) I did tear internally. Beth said it was just a small tear...I think she may have just said that though because I'm still trying to recover. Or maybe she was telling the truth and I have a really big skid mark? No clue. All I know is that it still hurts. It did not hurt when I actually tore though. I didn't even feel it. And she put anesthetic in before she sewed up any stitches. The cord was only wrapped around his head once, which was surprising because he was such a wiggler! It was a magnificent feeling knowing I had just birthed my baby. I was so overwhelmed. I don't remember feeling anything except for peace. It was the most peaceful feeling I have ever felt. It was wonderful. 

I must say, now that I've been through labor, pressure waves were not exactly painful. I wouldn't use that word. They were really uncomfortable. I'm not sure that is even the right word either. I would however associate pain with the first couple of weeks of breastfeeding. Now that is painful! I would also like to say that I was "losing it" during transition because I didn't know how to handle the intense pressure. I started to panic a little. This is another reason why I wish my doula would have made it. It would have been nice to have her by my side telling me what to do. I also think I pushed too fast. I wish I would have been more patient. I really wanted Carson out and my labor to be over with. Sometimes I feel like if I had slowed down, I wouldn't have torn. But I'll never know. And maybe if I had listened to my pushing track, I would have been more patient and calm.

All in all, it was a great experience. I'm definitely going to use hypnobabies with my next one. It really helped me stay relaxed for the most part.