Miscarriage Birth Story

We were expecting baby #3 in March. My due date was March 11, 2017. We were all so excited. It took 7 months to get pregnant this time. The boys could not wait. We had it all planned out. 

I'll try to start at the beginning. I went to my check up September 1st at almost 13 weeks and heard a good strong fast heartbeat. I was still so shocked I was finally pregnant. I had even felt the baby move a handful of times. I remember telling the midwife that at the appointment.  Cory and I thought about announcing on social media that we were expecting #3. I told him I'd wait for the weekend. A week and a half later on the 11th, I flew to Utah for a few days to be with Maddison and meet baby Leif. We had a great few days. I also didn't feel like I wanted to announce anything on social media. So I didn't and thought I would maybe after 20 weeks. As Maddison drove me to the airport to go home, I remember having a very worrisome feeling. I hadn't felt the baby move in awhile. I remember on that ride I kept thinking to myself, "Come on baby. Move for me." I thought I felt something so I dropped it after that--not wanting to overthink anything. 

I had talked it over with the midwife that I could have my anatomy scan a little bit early. It was scheduled for October 6th. I was going to be 17 weeks and 5 days. For some reason, as the 6th approached, I began feeling really uneasy about the appointment. I was feeling like I shouldn't have scheduled it so early. I needed to push it back a week so the baby would be a bit bigger and things would be seen easier. I prayed about it telling Heavenly Father that if I really needed to move the appointment, then let me keep the uneasy feeling. That feeling never went away. So I moved it to the 13th and felt so much better. 

I could not wait for the anatomy scan. I honestly felt I was having a girl. Cory and the boys always talked about having another boy. But I just kept thinking he was going to be surprised because I thought for sure it was a girl. 

Soon after I moved the appointment, I started feeling more and more worried. I noticed my uterus wasn't growing. I wasn't feeling the baby move. I knew in the back of my mind that the baby was gone. Every day I would palpate my stomach and find my uterus and push on what felt like the baby to get it to move--nothing. But I was holding on to whatever piece of hope I could. I looked at pictures of me when I was pregnant with Cade. I didn't start showing until 19 or 20 weeks and I didn't feel him move until around 18 weeks. I kept holding on to that. 

All of my close friends kept asking when my ultrasound was. Everyone couldn't wait to find out what I was having. I told my friends and family when it was and also told them my concerns. I felt like I had to prepare them for what the outcome could be. 

On Sunday, October 9th, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I took a shower and just broke down. I cried and cried all morning--alone so no one would know. Later that morning we were all sitting in bed together. Cory started talking about the baby and asking the boys if they wanted a boy or a girl. That's when I lost it again. Cory asked what was wrong. I tried my best to explain without saying too much because the boys were there. Carson picked it up though. His face fell. He dropped onto Cory and cried with me. 

That week I did whatever I could to keep my mind off of my upcoming appointment. Carson didn't have preschool. I had a few friends contact me asking for play dates. It was play date after play date. I thought how I had never had a week like that before--surrounded by friends. I also had quite a few miscarriage stories pop up on my Facebook newsfeed. I felt inspired to read them. And I also knew why. I cleaned my whole house that week. My sub conscience mind knew what was coming while my rational mind kept pushing it out. The night before the appointment, I was reading in The Gift of Giving Life. I was looking for something specific. But instead, every page I turned to was about miscarriage. I got a little mad and slammed the book down and went to sleep.

The next day was hard. I ended up spending the morning helping a friend to keep my mind off of things. When the time came, we dropped the boys off with a friend and drove to the office. I was so nervous but didn't say anything to Cory. 

We walked in the office and the ultrasound tech took us back before we even sat down. We got started right away. He asked how far along I was. With a knot in my stomach I said, "18 weeks and 5 days". He showed us with his hand how big the baby was and began the scan. The second we saw the baby, I knew it was gone. But I waited for him to say it. The first thing he said was, "The first thing I notice is the baby is small." As we stared at the screen he kept rubbing my belly with the wand and said, "This is where the heartbeat usually is." That was it. That was my cue. I could finally let go of all the hope I was grasping. My rational mind finally came around. I sobbed and sobbed. Cory seemed to be a little in shock. The tech told me he was sorry and went to tell the midwife. He came back a few minutes later to take some measurements of the baby. Then he gave us tissue and took us to a back room where the midwife would give us our options.

We met with Amanda that day. She came in and held my hand while I cried. Once I calmed down a bit, she told me this wasn't my fault and all those things we needed to hear. Then she gave us our options and asked what we wanted to do. Thanks to all the miscarriage stories, I already knew what I wanted to do. My mind had already gone over the options. She wanted us to go to the hospital that night or the next morning. But I pushed it back to Saturday so I could get my mom down to watch the boys. Amanda then informed me that Saturday was national pregnancy and infant loss day. I cried and cried more and just thought how odd that was. She told us the baby measured 13 weeks and 6 days. So I'm guessing it passed sometime before I left for Utah. Amanda told us Dr. Newman was going to be on call over the weekend and that no midwife would be there. But she assured me he was great. And I had heard wonderful things about him, so with that--we left after a big hug from Amanda.

We sat in the car and cried for awhile. I called my mom and texted some friends that were anxiously waiting to find out what we were having. After an hour we got the courage to go get the boys. Our friend Emily who was watching the boys asked how it went. But I just cried and shook my head. Cory cried with me as we told her the details. Once we were ready to go, she went to get the boys from upstairs. We hadn't said anything to the boys yet. But Carson persistently kept asking if the baby was out of my tummy now. I was so confused why he was asking me that. I wasn't ready to even answer that. But I had to because he wouldn't stop asking. So Cory and I told them the baby went back to Heavenly Father and that we would still have another baby, just not right now.

We spent the night telling our friends and family. I was so thankful I hadn't said anything on social media. Emily was so kind and dropped off ice cream and cookies. I don't think I stopped crying that entire evening. I was also mad--mad that I had moved the ultrasound to a week later. Why did I feel like I needed to do that? Why couldn't I have just gotten this over a week before? It didn't make sense.

The next day Friday was a blur. The boys were supposed to play with a friend but Carson wasn't feeling too good. I think we just watched tv and cleaned a few things to get ready for Grandma Alice to come that night.

I kept wondering why this happened. Why did this happen to me? Throughout the day I had little inspirations come but didn't think much of it. I also wondered why my body hadn't let go naturally. Something odd did happen though--I usually am very hot at night. I live in Phoenix and don't sleep with too many blankets on. But for the past week, I was really cold at night. I HAD to sleep with all the blankets on me. And I also think I was starting to lose my mucus plug.

I had talked to Marci on and off since finding out. I remembered her saying something about knowing a bereavement doula. (A doula that helps with miscarriages and stillborns.) I decided to look them up to see if there was one here in Phoenix. There was actually one pretty close by that I decided to contact. She got back to me and was very helpful and comforting and said she would help me with whatever. I called Marci to see if she couldn't ask her bereavement doula friend some questions for me. To my surprise and a tender mercy from the Lord, Marci was on her way to see her at a doula meeting they were holding. Once they were done and she had called me back, she told me lots of helpful information. The most important being that my milk would come in. I was stunned. What? My milk was going to come in? That added a whole other level of emotions. She also told me to look at stillbirthday.com to get a sense of what my baby would look like at 14 weeks. My bereavement doula told me the same thing. But I was not prepared for that. I absolutely did not want to do that. I wasn't even sure I wanted to see my baby. I was scared. I went to bed that night feeling dread and fear. I didn't sleep much.

I woke up early that next morning. To my amazement, I felt completely different than I had the night before. I had an immense peaceful feeling with me. I felt confident at looking at pictures of what my baby might look like. So I did. I thought I would feel more sad and sick looking at it. But I was surprised when an overwhelming joyful feeling overcame me. I was happy to see that little baby on the screen of my phone that was gone. That baby had a purpose. That baby was extremely loved by our Father in Heaven. And so was my baby.

I got up and ready to go to the hospital. Cory gave me a blessing before we left. In his blessing, he told me why this happened. It was word for word what I had felt in the days before. It was an extremely comforting blessing. I could feel the power of the priesthood and Heavenly Father's love for me and for Cory. Afterwards, while holding back tears, I said goodbye to my boys and to my mom.

We arrived at the hospital at 8:30 am.  It took forever getting checked in and for a nurse to come see us. I was very calm and collected. But I was freezing! I could not get warm. I had to turn the heater on in my room--in Phoenix when it was 95 degrees outside! The nurse kept bringing me warm blankets. It was so odd. I think it was my body finally realizing. We didn't get the cytotec started until 11:30. (My cytotec was administered vaginally every 4 hours. It was pill that was supposed to dissolve right next to the cervix. But when you're body is not supposed to deliver, your cervix is very high. So it was very uncomfortable having the nurse try to stick her entire arm up my vagina.) After the first dose, I started feeling a few contractions. But it fizzled out to just cramping. Cory and I were so bored. We watched TV for a little while but it was odd to just sit and do nothing but wait.

At 3:30 I was given another dose. I started having major contractions that I really had to focus and use my hypnobabies for. The contractions were right on top of each other. Hypnobabies is seriously so amazing. I really didn't see my contractions as pain. I was totally fine and didn't think I wanted pain medication. I made a sarcastic comment to Cory that the baby would probably come and nobody would be here. It was funny because I needed to be up. I leaned against the top of the bed just the way I gave birth to Cade. Then I felt like I had to walk around. So I did that. After an hour, contractions slowed down.

The hospital was having a ceremony in a garden outside for national infant and pregnancy loss day. My doctor was speaking at it and one of the midwives was singing at it. So I wanted to go. It started at 5:30 and my nurses let me go since I was fine. My nurse Felicia wheeled me down--wrapped up in a blanket. I was cold even outside! The ceremony was very nice. Although it was eerie sitting there having contractions about to give up my pregnancy and baby. My doctor was first to speak. I don't remember much of what he said. During his talk, I heard a voice tell me, "This is why. This is why you had to wait." This was why I felt prompted to move my ultrasound. I needed to be at this ceremony and feel these feelings and understand what these other parents felt. One of the reasons I was told I miscarried is so I can help other people. I had this incredible feeling with me the rest of the ceremony. And those poor people! They were crying because they lost their baby. Different moms spoke about the hurt and confusion they still had. They had little comfort in knowing God's plan--or even the plan of salvation. And there I was, crying because I felt so loved by God! I had never felt so loved or peaceful in my entire life! And here these people were angry with God because their baby was taken from them. I felt so sad for them. I wanted to just tell them all how much God loved them.

Our candles from the ceremony. They also released butterflies.

Around 6:30, we went back up to our room. I was getting tired of the contractions and told my nurse I was ready for some pain medication. She said she would put the order in and be back in when my doctor "okayed" it. So I sat on the bed, still in my sweats from being outside, and waited. I had a plan. As soon as she came back, I was going to take the medication and get in the bath. A warm bath sounded so good! I called my mom while I waited and got an update how the boys were. Cory and I also talked about the ceremony and the feelings we had. And I waited some more.

The next thing I knew, I felt a gush--followed by intense contractions! I thought it might have been my water breaking so I called out to Cory and tried to take my pants off to keep them from getting dirty. But I couldn't move. The pressure was so strong. It was comparative to transition in normal labor. I told Cory to take my pants off and call the nurse! The nurse came in and said it was just blood and to wait and see what happens. I asked if she was going to check me or anything but she said no. She was very sweet. But I'm not sure she had much experience with this sort of thing. I knew it was time. The doctor still hadn't gotten the order so I laid there focusing on relaxing. I remember kind of yelling at Cory telling him it was a good thing I knew how to do this! It was tough. I told Cory to call Marci so she could talk me through it over speaker phone! But he must have thought that was crazy because he was like, " Uhhhh." Right then, the nurse came in with the new nurse--it was shift change. This new nurse Kim looked right at me and told me she had delivered lots of miscarriages and stillborns and knew what she was doing. She immediately gloved up and checked me. She said my cervix was very soft (duh.)

I had a few more contractions and I jokingly told Cory this would be my first baby I delivered on my back! Kim checked me again and said the bag of water was right there. I could feel it. She asked me to bear down. I tried--but I felt so paralyzed. I don't think I did much. I think she helped it out because the next thing I knew, it was out! It came around 7:45. It happened very fast. It all came out together--the baby in the sack and the placenta. It was fascinating! Cory didn't want to see the baby so he was off to the side. But I asked him to pass me my phone so I could take pictures. How often do you see something like that? He sat right back down.

The nurse started breaking open the sack of water. We had to move the legs to see that it was a boy! I was shocked! I yelled out, "It's a boy!" That's when Cory got up and came to see his sweet boy. He was crying so hard. He wanted another boy so bad. It killed me seeing him like that. After Kim cut the cord, I just held him and stared. He was perfect. You could see every rib bone and his spine, his tiny feet and 10 fingers and toes. He was as long as my hand.

After awhile, the nurse took him to a different room to take some pictures of him. Cory and I just sat and cried. But we also talked about how we could feel other people there with us that we could not see with our eyes. I think many people were in that room with us, comforting us. There was such a peaceful feeling. It was like being in the temple. We talked about naming him. But it didn't feel right. We couldn't even think of a name. We just couldn't. I often wonder why I felt he was a girl. I think there was a little girl with me after he passed, comforting me. I talked to my sister Eden recently and she also had a little girl spirit comfort her while she was in the hospital. I don't know if it is the same spirit or a different one but I thought that was cool.

The nurse took great pictures. I even asked her if she could take a couple more of just his feet. She was so great. She told me she couldn't get footprints but came back later to tell me she got them! She worked hard for me. I held him some more after everything was done. It was hard to hold him because since he had been gone for so long, he smelled like death. Every time I moved him, a little of his skin would slough off. But I still stared and stared. He was a baby--even at 14 weeks. Cory and I talked about how people could abort these innocent beings! It is so awful and sickening when you see your own child at that size. I don't understand it. Never will. It's devilish.

The hospital gave us all kinds of options as to what to do with his body. We felt good about letting the hospital take him and eventually end up in an angel grave somewhere in Phoenix. I don't even remember the address. For us, that was right and okay.

I tried to rest that night. But got woken up by my doctor at midnight. He finally showed up. I did get pain medication. But not until after the baby came while I got pitocin to help my uterus contract. I guess my doctor has a hard time with loss. He doesn't know what to say or do. I was disappointed no midwives were on call that weekend. It would have been nice to have more female support. The hospital put together a memory box for us with all kinds of stuff--his blanket he was in, all the props used in the pictures and forget me not flower seeds. Even a necklace with little feet on it. It was really nice. We finally got discharged the next morning around noon.

As sad and tragic as this was, I am in awe at how comforted I felt. I hardly cried the whole day. It felt like an out of body experience. I know it was the prayers, my blessing, angels, and the Holy Ghost. I now understand deeper the gift that the Holy Ghost is. He can be a real tangible comfort--along with priesthood power. I am so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ. I feel so lucky to be a member of His church. I know it is true. I feel so honored that Heavenly Father trusted me enough to grow this sweet child--even for a short time. It was His child though. It was His tool. He was my baby but ultimately, it was the Lord's. And that is comforting. 

lds.org

Caden's Hypnobabies Birth Story

I want to remember everything I can about this birth. This is a long birth story.

My mom flew in 1 day before my due date (12th) and planned on staying for a week and a half. Since I was a week late with Carson, then induced, I decided I needed to do everything I could to get this baby here. 

Monday morning (13th), I went to the midwife (Beth) and she stripped my membranes. I really wanted her to be the one to deliver but she said she wasn't on call until Thursday. After my appointment, we went grocery shopping and walked around the store. I had some cramping and lost some mucus plug but that was it. I was also only dilated to a 1 and 50% effaced. Boo.. :( Monday night Marci did acupressure on my feel and my friend Krista--who sells DoTerra, gave me some clary sage oil which can help get labor going. 

Tuesday I applied the clary sage to my belly and calf area all day! I also went walking in the mall with my mom and Carson for awhile. Nothing happened though.

Wednesday, my mom dropped us off at the mall while she went to the Y. We walked around for a good 2 hours. Caden was REALLY low this day. I was nervous my water was going to break at the mall. I had to stop and breath a few times because the pressure would take my breath away. But it this was NOT pressure waves. Just weird low cervical pressure. Like he was trying to escape. 

I had a really neat experience at the mall. I was discouraged that I still hadn't had the baby. I was worried that my mom was leaving in a week. And I was just feeling low. I had been praying all week that Caden would come soon. As I was walking, I suddenly felt the Spirit so strong. I was told the baby would come soon! And things were going just as they should. I was reminded of how I felt while trying to conceive Caden. It was the same feeling. We only had a few months to try. I was praying all the time that I would get pregnant. But it didn't happen right away and it was really hard. I did get pregnant on the Lord's time though. The Lord reminded me that everything worked out then and it would now. I got the biggest smile on my face as I walked around the mall. I had just gotten really excited! I knew Caden was coming soon and I couldn't wait!

That night Marci did acupressure again on my feet and I kept applying the clary sage oil. Then I begged Marci to let me do black and blue cohosh tea. Which she had and let me use! I took one cup at 10pm. I didn't feel anything so I took 1 more cup at 11pm right before going to bed.

Thursday: At 2 am I woke up with the strongest/worst braxton hicks of my life because I had to pee so so so bad. (Or so I thought that's why I was having this awful BH) Right after I went, I immediately started having pressure waves. I also noticed some bright red/pinkness when I wiped. I sat in the bathroom for awhile wondering if this was labor. I downloaded an app to start timing my pressure waves. They were about 3-5 min apart. I couldn't sleep and I realized I hadn't packed anything for the hospital, so I started packing. I also listened to the birthing affirmations track. All while Cory was sound asleep may I add. I texted Marci and told her what was going on even though I knew she wouldn't get my text until the morning.

Around 3am the pressure waves changed and were 2-3 minutes apart. I spent some more time in the bathroom. My body was clearing itself out! And I noticed more bright pinkness. 

Around 4am the pressure waves changed again. They were now more like 5 minutes apart. I went downstairs to pack some more things but got really tired. I fell asleep on the couch at 5am and turned off the birthing affirmations track. At 5:30am Cory came downstairs. He asked me what I was doing on the couch...? ha ha. He told me I needed to go back to bed to try to get some good rest. I slept in bed until 8:00am. I woke up a lot during pressure waves to time them. I kept waiting for them to become consistent. I thought labor was having constant pressure waves. And they only lasted what felt like 30 seconds long. They say they need to last 1 minute long. So I didn't think I was actually in labor. Marci told me to look for leaking fluid and bright red/pink blood or discharge. I told her I had had that early this morning. I didn't think it was significant. But she said it was a sign of cervical change. She told me later that once I told her that, she knew I was in labor. I was still clueless.

That morning all I wanted to do was sit. I didn't want to get up or do anything. So I sat on my butt for a few hours doing nothing. If I had known I was in labor, I would have been more active to speed up the process. My mom took Carson to story time at 10am. I was so grateful for that! I decided I needed to take a shower and wash my hair. (which I'm really glad I did) Marci told me I needed to call the midwives and let them know what was going on and see who was on call. When I called, they asked me to come in so they could just check and see what was going on. I thought that was weird. I was expecting to just go to the hospital when it was time to have the baby. I kept telling Cory, "Why do I need to come in? I don't need to go." But we did.

We got to the midwives at 1pm. Lydia was there. She checked me and said, "Whoa, you're doing really well. You're a 6 and 90% effaced!" And she said the bag of water was bulging. I grinned so big! I then knew I was actually in labor. She said we could go to the hospital if we wanted. Or I could go home for awhile and do a NST at the office. I told her we would just go to the hospital. And we found out Beth was on call until 10pm!!! I'm glad we went in because then we didn't have to sit in triage. Lydia just admitted us. And who knows how long I would have stayed at home wondering if I was in labor or not. We went back home to get our stuff and tell my mom. Carson was napping. Cory gave me a wonderful blessing right before we left too. I specifically remember him saying something about not having fears. I didn't think I had fears, but I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I was worried about the possibility of having fears--which sounds weird. But I was immediately comforted.

We got to the hospital at 2:30. On the way, the pressure waves started to change. They got more intense. As we were walking in from the parking lot, I had a strong one. I had to stop and lean on Cory for awhile. Longer than usual. I kept trying to walk through it because it was freezing outside! But I couldn't! Cory asked if I needed a wheelchair. LOL. No way.  Marci got there at 2:45 and put in Easy First Stage into the cd player. I had been sitting in the bed not really having any pressure waves. Beth came in and stayed pretty much my entire birthing time! Marci got me a birthing ball to sit on. I was there for awhile maybe 30 minutes or so.

Then I wanted to walk around and stand. I did that for awhile. During a pressure wave, I would lean on Cory and sway. He was glad my pressure waves didn't last very long. :) Then I wanted to use the bathroom again. I sat on the toilet backwards for a little while. 

At 4:00pm I got into the big tub. That felt so nice. Every time I had a pressure wave, I would rest my head on the edge in front of Cory. (He was outside the tub by the way) He would rub my shoulders. Beth and Marci were behind me and would rub my low back. That helped immensely! And my whole birthing time, they made sure I kept having sips of water to stay hydrated. Beth asked me if I wanted a Popsicle or jello or something. I said sure..? Cory fed me Jello in the tub. That was nice! I also realized I was starving! I wanted more! But they told me to eat it slowly. ha ha. 

After awhile I started getting really sleepy. All I wanted to do was lay down and take a nap. They told me I needed to use the bathroom first and empty my bladder. At 5:00pm I got out of the tub and sat backwards on the toilet for awhile. I was there way longer than I thought I would be. They got pillows for me to rest on and I almost fell asleep there! I eventually made it to the bed. I laid on my side and Beth and Marci made me really comfortable! Pillows were everywhere. I slept for a little bit. I actually had a long break between pressure waves. I think somewhere between 5-10 minutes and I slept and actually forgot I was having a baby. I woke up and remember having to think about why I was in a hospital for a second. Beth asked me if I wanted some chicken broth to sip on. I said, " I don't know. I guess." I really cannot make decisions during my birthing time. She brought me some and had me sip on it. I think she wanted me to get some energy before the pushing phase.  At some point the Pushing track came on too. Marci said at this point I started making sounds during my waves. I was trying to moan and "Ahh." During one wave in particular, I remember feeling Caden move down over my tail bone! That was crazy cool! I told everyone but I think they thought I was insane.

After a few minutes, I couldn't lay anymore. I NEEDED to sit up. This was around 6:00pm. I leaned over the top of the bed with my arms hanging up over the edge. Marci wanted me to wiggle my hips but I couldn't move. She ended up physically moving them around for me. ha ha. She said at this time I started making moaning sounds that sounded like pushing. I did all of a sudden have the urge to push. And I did push. But I didn't tell anybody! I didn't want to freak everybody out in case it wasn't really time yet. I remember Marci asking if I wanted Beth to check me. I don't remember what I said but it was probably something like, "I don't know. I guess." I do remember that I did want her to check me! I just couldn't communicate that. There was also a little sense of urgency in the room because Beth had stepped out. Marci was saying, "Where is Beth? We need Beth now!"

At 6:10pm Beth checked me and said I was 10 cm and 100% effaced. I was thinking," well, duh. I knew that." She said I could push if I felt like I needed to. But yeah, I already knew I was ready for that too. The next pressure wave, I made sure to tell everyone that I was pushing.

At 6:15 my water broke on it's own during a push and I all of a sudden could feel Caden crowning! I then thought, "Whoa, he's coming. I'm almost done." I honestly thought I would be in the transformation phase for longer! I didn't realize I was done already.

I pushed 2 more times and at 6:20pm Caden was born. I was sorta on my hands and knees at this point. Beth just kind of handed him to me underneath  me. I grabbed him up and just hugged him! He was screaming his little head off. I just held him there on my chest for a little. It was such a sweet moment. And I didn't tear! That was one of my goals. He started nursing right away! And like swallowing! He's an excellent nurser. That's all he wanted to do for like an hour and a half! We waited to weigh him and stuff until a couple of hours after he was born. We just held him and loved him.

Also, he was born with tooth! His blood vessels in his eyes broke from coming out so fast. Poor thing.

I feel really grateful that Caden came at such a perfect time. Heavenly Father really knows me and I feel blessed He gave me what I wanted out of this birth process. Thursday was the day Beth was on call. And Caden's pediatrician was on call this week as well. I had an amazing doula!  I really did have an, "easy, comfortable childbirth!" It was a piece of cake. As long as there is no pitocin involved and my water stays intact, I feel like I could have 20 kids! (Which I'm not) I'm really going to miss having babies here at this hospital with these midwives and with Marci! And I love hypnobabies! I was so prepared and confident. Heavenly Father gave me exactly what I wanted for this birth. I'm nervous that I'll have some lessons and trials for my next babies.

Caden Eugene was 7 lbs 6oz 20 in long. He is such a little sweetheart.

Carson adores Caden! He smothers him! The first and second day home from the hospital, Carson would randomly say, "Yay! Caden's home!" It was as if Caden had always been around for Carson. I really feel like they have known each other for a very long time. He loves his brother.

40 Weeks

I feel really good. Better than I did with #1 at this time. I'm not too uncomfortable. I'm a little smaller than I was with Carson. But--none of my shoes fit. Hence why I'm wearing tennis shoes in this picture. I can only fit into 1 pair of maternity pants. And the belly part of those pants don't stay up well. So I'm constantly pulling them up. Which is why I'm wearing workout capris. I did not have this problem with Carson. Luckily, this is the end and it won't last too long.

30 Weeks with #2

I feel like I'm 35 weeks.. blah.

I have a feeling I'm going to be huge by the end of this.

Carson: Left.  Baby #2: Right. Yup, I think I'm bigger.

I honestly feel great though.

-My braxton hicks are a lot stronger than they were with Carson. And it is sometimes hard to wrestle with Carson while I'm having one. I have to stop and breath sometimes.

-I have to take heartburn medicine again. One night I forgot to take it and I woke up in the middle of the night feeling awful. I actually threw up in my mouth a little and had to run to the bathroom. I won't forget to take that again!

-This baby doesn't move around as often as Carson did. He seems to be more mellow (fingers crossed!) It could have something to do with having an anterior placenta. But I'm ignoring that fact.

-I'm starting to lose some energy. I didn't notice that with Carson during the 3rd trimester. If we are busy in the mornings, I'm wiped out by noon.

-I haven't gotten any new stretch marks! Not that it matters since I got a billion with Carson.

-I got my ball out recently and have been doing my best to practice Hypnobabies! I am getting really excited for my birthing time! I can't wait to meet this sweet little boy. And as weird as this may sound, I can't wait to birth him!

Simons Baby #2!

We are so happy to be having another baby! 

And it's a BOY!

We kinda felt like we would have another boy after Carson. Everyone kept telling us we were having a girl! So we started second guessing. But I'm glad our instincts were right.

And I'm 21 weeks!

Here are some pictures of the ultrasound

He looked right at the camera! Kinda creepy looking.

And this lovely shot... BOY!

This pregnancy has been pretty different compared to Carson.

-I was sicker longer. But I wasn't nearly as sick as I was with him. This time I was sick until 18/19 weeks.

-The heartburn isn't as bad...yet.

-I'm hardly showing. I finally got a little something around 19/20 weeks.

-I've gained a lot of weight this time for some reason. And it's all in my midsection. I still just feel fat and not pregnant.

-I started having problems with my pubic symphysis at 12 weeks! I wasn't sore with Carson until I was huge and big. I am REALLY sore like 4 out of 7 days. Weekends are the worst for some reason. I waddle around as if I'm huge. And I feel like an idiot because I'm not. Jimett gave me a wrap to wear and that helps a lot! And getting adjusted helps a lot too. But I just go right back to hurting a few days later. So this is my biggest issue. My midwives keep telling me it's normal and that if I have a 3rd baby, it will happen right away. :(

-I keep telling Carson there is a baby in my belly. He doesn't get it. But sometimes he will give the "baby" a.k.a. my belly, a hug or a kiss. That is really sweet when he does that. A couple days ago he tried feeding the "baby" his mac & cheese. I was laughing so hard!

Here's my 20 week pic.

Left: Carson. Right: Baby boy #2. I'm WAY smaller! Both 20 weeks. Crazy!

My New Favorite Blog

So I haven't been feeling that great about all my new stretch marks. Last night I decided to search them on Pinterest in hopes of finding some magical cream or inspirational quotes. I happened to stumble upon this blog-- http://womeninthescriptures.blogspot.com/. There is an amazing post about why this woman loves her stretch marks. In the post she quoted Elder Bruce C. Hafen of the First Quorum of the Seventy and his wife Marie K. Hafen. They said,


Just as a mother's body may be permanently marked with the signs of pregnancy and childbirth, [the Savior] said, 'I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands' (1 Ne. 21:15–16). For both a mother and the Savior, those marks memorialize a wrenching sacrifice--the sacrifice of begetting life--for her, physical birth; for him, spiritual rebirth" ("'Eve Heard All These Things and Was Glad': Grace and Learning by Experience," in Dawn Hall Anderson and Susette Fletcher Green, eds.,Women in the Covenant of Grace: Talks Selected from the 1993 Women's Conference [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1994], p. 29)." 


The Savior has too has marks on his hands, feet, and side. Those are His marks for giving his life for me. Just as I have marks that represent the life I gave to Carson. As women, our bodies are beautiful. This has been so hard for me to remember lately. But now every time I see my tiger striped tummy, I think of the Savior and His sacrifice for me. This post definitely made me feel a whole lot better about myself.


This amazing woman has many other great posts. But so far my favorite one is "The Importance of Birth." I think everyone should read it! Her outlook on things is amazing! I quoted some of my favorite parts.



"The first veil that all mankind passes through is the veil of birth in which man is born into the world by water, blood and the spirit. Women have a stewardship over this first veil. When Eve partook of the tree of knowledge she became more like God, knowing good from evil and gaining the capacity to bear children. Eve's transgression "opened the matrix", as it says in Exodus 34:19, the womb, the gateway through which the souls of all mankind would pass through into the mortal world. The only possible way to enter this mortal world is through the body of a woman and by the shedding of her blood... there is no other way."

"...many of Satan's tactics are directed at women and at the structure which protects and guards the first veil... the family. Satan is doing everything in his power to convince women that their bodies, which are the gateway through the first veil, are dirty, ugly, imperfect, dysfunctional and of no importance. He is doing everything he can to distract and confuse women so that they abandon their responsibility as the guardians of life into this world. If he can destroy women's faith in their bodies and help them lose sight of the importance of the first veil---and the power and sanctity of conception, pregnancy and birth--- then he is well on his way to thwarting God's plan."

"I believe that how women birth and how children come into this world matters deeply to God. I feel that He expects the processes of conception, pregnancy and birth to be treated with the same type of reverence and faith with which we approach priesthood ordinances. I also believe that He expects women to protect their wombs, honor their ability to give life, and to participate in cultural and medical practices which bear witness to the divinity and power of women's bodies and the birth process."

"...no child comes into this world unaccompanied and that God sends angels to be with them as they enter this world. I also know that God sends angels to laboring women to help them as they birth His children into the light of the world. The veil is thin for a woman in labor and if she is listening she is able to feel the power of God in an incredibly powerful way. For a few hours she becomes a wide open portal into heaven, foreordained from the foundations of the world to bring the children of heaven into this mortal world. What a great blessing it is that God has such faith in His daughters to entrust them with such a great power!"

I get goosebumps every time I go back and read this. The woman's body is so sacred. I understand this more fully after reading this post.  Heavenly Father loves His daughters. That first moment when Carson was born was the most miraculous feeling. I can't wait to have another sweet little angel to add to our family.

My Hypnobabies Birth

Being over due is hard stuff. Even though for some reason I knew I would be late. I felt relieved when I hit the 41 week mark because I had an appointment that day. I was looking forward to seeing my little guy on the ultrasound and knowing he was doing okay.

We went in and had our ultrasound and NST done. I loved seeing Carson again. He showed his face for a second and I could see he had chubby cheeks. (And boy when he came out, he sure did have plump cheeks!) He passed the ultrasound with flying colors! No problems at all.

They took us to another room for the NST. Things started out great. He was doing well with the little  braxton hicks I was getting. But as time went on, he wasn't having enough raises in his heart rate. (They needed to see his heart rate raise at least 3 times and see him bring it back down.) They had me drink cold water and they were about to try some kind of buzzer?? At this point I got a strong braxton hicks. We saw his heart rate fall really, really low. The nurse said, "We aren't going to use the buzzer anymore. We'll just have you go see Beth (my midwife)." Cory and I were pretty confused and a little scared.

Once we saw Beth, she told us how great the ultrasound went but she was really concerned about the NST. She said it could be possible my placenta was starting to give out and things may be shutting down. So, she said go right to the hospital to get induced and get labor going! I looked at her and said, "Right now?!?" Beth said, "Yes. Let's have a baby tonight!" I think my mouth dropped wide open. I wasn't expecting that. I thought I would go into that appointment and be sent home for another week to wait for contractions to start. I told her I had a chiropractic appointment right after that appointment. She said I couldn't go! I was looking forward to being adjusted and couldn't believe how serious she was about us getting to the hospital quickly to keep an eye on the baby. I was 4 cm dilated at this point though!

We headed home and told Gammaw we were going to the hospital! We packed and ate a little bit. This really threw me for a loop. In my mind I had imagined going into labor at home and listening to my hypnobabies. I had planned to pack most of my stuff during this time to give me something to do. I was planning on staying at home as long as possible and dealing with each pressure wave as they came until they were pretty close together. My goal was to get to the hospital when I was about 7 cm. None of this happened the way I thought it would, which was fine. Just unexpected.

We got to the hospital and put in our room around 5:30 pm. I had asked for a tub room, but they said the call button wasn't working in the only open tub room. If they got it fixed, I could move there. I didn't mind.

Unfortunately, my doula was not able to make it. Her son had been in and out of the hospital. She offered a back up doula, but I didn't feel comfortable having someone there I had never met or explained what hypnobabies was. So I decided to go without. 

They started pitocin at 6:45 and broke my water soon after. They said if my body kept up a regular rhythm, they would take the pitocin out. I put in my "Easy First Stage" at this point and just relaxed. The pressure waves began and they didn't seem to bother me yet. I just sat and talked excitedly with Cory and Gammaw. Once the pressure waves were more noticeable, I would shut my eyes and stay in my "off" position. Cory caught on quickly whenever I was having a pressure wave. There were a couple times the nurse would come in to take my blood pressure and whatnot. Cory would quietly inform her to wait a minute. When it was over, I opened my eyes and we would continue our conversation.

Here I am listening to my hypnobabies

Cory and Gammaw

This was after they broke my water :)

I didn't really look at the clock or pay any attention to the time so I don't really have a time reference for anything else. Also, I never timed my pressure waves. I have no clue how long they lasted or how far apart they were. I didn't really care. After sitting on the bed, I moved to the birthing ball. My midwife Rachel came in and said I had a great rhythm going with my pressure waves. She asked the nurse to turn down the pitocin. But the nurse had already turned the pitocin down earlier. So, to my relief, Rachel said to go ahead and take it out! Unfortunately, I had to stay on the monitors because they were worried about Carson. They were a little annoying but they had water proof ones so I could move about as I pleased. :)

Now here is my tidbit about pitocin. I didn't find it that unbearable. It definitely made my pressure waves stronger, but not necessarily more uncomfortable. I'm sure I would feel differently if I had pitocin while in transition though. 

After the pitocin was out, I got in the tub. I sat there for quite sometime. Cory sat on the toilet next to me and held my hand the entire time. I kept my "Easy First Stage" track going and noticed my pressure waves getting a bit more uncomfortable. When I say, "a bit more," I mean I had to concentrate a little more. They really were not bad at all. The warm water definitely helped too. I was probably in the tub for a couple of hours...? No idea. I do know that the midwives had a shift change at 10:00 and my midwife Beth came while I was in the tub.

A lot of people said sitting on the toilet was comfortable for them. Not for me. Of course Cory made sure I was drinking plenty of water so that I would stay hydrated and urinate to keep my bladder empty. But I hated sitting on the toilet and avoided it as much as I could.

After being in the tub, I moved back to the bed. I rested against the bed on my knees and tried to get Carson to move down more. I started to get really nauseous.  This is about the point where I puked up my dinner. I don't think Cory will want pasta roni for awhile. I moved back to the birthing ball and my pressure waves really kicked in. I found my own unique rhythm of breathing along with some special rocking movements. I continued to listen to hypnobabies as I entered transition. Cory was so sweet. He would whisper words of encouragement throughout each pressure wave and assured me I could do this. He would tell me he loved me and how amazing I was doing. He was my rock. I would not let him leave my side. With each pressure wave, I would stick my hand out for him to grab on and I would squeeze as hard as I could. It was really comforting to know he was there with me.

I got sick of being on the ball and wanted to move back to the foot of the bed on my knees. This is where I lost it. I was 8 cm. The pressure waves were powerful. I was getting annoyed with having my earphones in. I wish my doula would have been there to put hypnobabies into the cd player. I didn't think about asking anybody else to put it in for me. I wish I had! My earphones were in and out with each pressure wave. I think I eventually just left them out because I don't remember listening to it after. I honestly did not think I could make it for the duration of my labor. I was losing it. I told Cory and Beth I was ready for pain medication. Beth asked if I wanted to try the big tub...which was in a different room. I never got to switch rooms because they never fixed the call button. :( I told Beth I didn't know. I couldn't think. She offered to help me in the tub then if I still wanted pain medication after that, she would do it. I agreed. Little did I know Beth was tricking me.

I stood up in between pressure waves and walked down the hall to the other room. Once I was submerged in the water, I felt better. The pressure waves were more bearable. Cory, Beth, and my nurse surrounded the tub. I was scared Beth and my nurse were going to leave to do other things. But thankfully they stayed put. For some reason I needed them there with me. With each pressure wave, Beth started with the encouraging words. Cory brought the Ipod, but I wanted to listen to Beth instead. She was amazing! She was saying similar things that were on my hypnobabies. Then she wanted to check me again. I was 9.5! She said if I felt like pushing to go ahead and do so.  I did push a little with my next pressure wave which also helped the discomfort. It wasn't long before Beth said it was time to get out and birth my baby! (It's illegal in Iowa to have a water birth).

This is the most ridiculous part of my labor. I find it a bit comical. They had me walk back to my room, fully complete. Let me tell you, it is not fun walking with a baby between your legs. I remember how crazy I looked. I had one hand leaning on Cory, the other on Beth. They basically carried me. I saw a nurse walk by and hoped she had seen this scene quite a few times before. I barely made it back to my room. A strong pressure wave came and I didn't know what to do... since I was standing. Beth told me to just squat where I was. I remember pushing a little. Then when I could, I got back on the foot of the bed.

30 minutes of pushing later, baby Carson had arrived. It was 3:50 am. :) I did pretty good with "Ahhhing" him out. I don't recall yelling or screaming. (Once I was in the recovery room, my nurse came back in and told me how surprised she was that I was so quiet! That made me feel good.) I did tear internally. Beth said it was just a small tear...I think she may have just said that though because I'm still trying to recover. Or maybe she was telling the truth and I have a really big skid mark? No clue. All I know is that it still hurts. It did not hurt when I actually tore though. I didn't even feel it. And she put anesthetic in before she sewed up any stitches. The cord was only wrapped around his head once, which was surprising because he was such a wiggler! It was a magnificent feeling knowing I had just birthed my baby. I was so overwhelmed. I don't remember feeling anything except for peace. It was the most peaceful feeling I have ever felt. It was wonderful. 

I must say, now that I've been through labor, pressure waves were not exactly painful. I wouldn't use that word. They were really uncomfortable. I'm not sure that is even the right word either. I would however associate pain with the first couple of weeks of breastfeeding. Now that is painful! I would also like to say that I was "losing it" during transition because I didn't know how to handle the intense pressure. I started to panic a little. This is another reason why I wish my doula would have made it. It would have been nice to have her by my side telling me what to do. I also think I pushed too fast. I wish I would have been more patient. I really wanted Carson out and my labor to be over with. Sometimes I feel like if I had slowed down, I wouldn't have torn. But I'll never know. And maybe if I had listened to my pushing track, I would have been more patient and calm.

All in all, it was a great experience. I'm definitely going to use hypnobabies with my next one. It really helped me stay relaxed for the most part.

Yes, I'm Still Pregnant

Yes, I'm 5 days late today. But I'm a first time mom so this is normal, right? I've come to terms that I'm going to be pregnant forever. I wanted to put some more pictures up so here they are...

This was 37 or 38 weeks.. I can't remember.

 These were taken Thursday. 2 days past due date.

40 Weeks and 2 days.

Let's hope that is the last picture...

In all honesty, I'm not that uncomfortable. Yes, I'll feel a foot jabbing on my ribs now and then, or a little bum sticking out as far as it can... I really don't have that much to complain about. I do have days that I'll be really sore. But not everyday. There are times Cory has had to help me get in and out of bed. But I really don't have that much to complain about. I sleep fine usually and if I remember to take my heartburn medicine, I'm completely fine. I may not be able to bend down to put my shoes and socks on... Cory and Cathy help me do that. I feel normal other than those few little things. I even forget I'm pregnant sometimes.

Now my patience is another story. We are so anxious to meet our baby boy! I've been going crazy playing this waiting game! But he's just not quite ready to come yet. So, I'm going to do my best to forget that we are going to have a little one any second now.

34 weeks & 35 weeks

I wrote this last week and failed to post... So this is a little late...

I'm 34 weeks! I still have heartburn. Of course. But the medicine I'm taking does make it bearable. Although I think it decreases my appetite. I'm probably not eating as much as I should be. But I definitely think it's better to forget to eat than being too sick to eat. ...uh right? ha.

I have not had problems sleeping at night--yet. Hopefully I never do? Boy, is that a dream or what? I fall right to sleep every single night. I usually only wake up once to go to the bathroom. Most of the time I go right back to sleep. Not always though. Now this was not the story when I was in the first trimester. Back in April and May I would be up ALL stinkin' night long! I'm grateful I'm getting more sleep! It may have something to do with Hypnobabies. I listen to it right before I go to bed. Which is probably not the best... But I go right to sleep. :)

We got our maternity pictures done this week! My friend Erica took them and she does a GREAT job! Check out her blog here We had a lot of fun doing it. I just wish I smiled more! In all of our wedding pictures I have the same exact smile. In some of the pictures I think I was too worried about having that same smile. Cory told me I look upset in some of them. ha...oops. No wonder he kept trying to get me to smile more during the shoot. I still love how they turned out! Don't mind the photo bomb here...

34 Weeks!

And now I'm 35 weeks! Time is flying by! We just have a few little last minute things to get done. Our little boy will be here before we know it! We are so ready for him to join us. Here is my 35 week pic...

Don't mind the dirty hair.

Baby Shower

Some nice ladies in my ward threw me a baby shower a few weeks ago. It turned out great! They had lots of Fall decorations and Fall time foods. I remember briefly mentioning to one of them ( who happens to be my V.T. comp) how much I love Autumn and pumpkins. From there it was all downhill. They went all out! They had pumpkin and Fall everything! I loved it. It was a lot of fun. And I loved getting the cute teeny tiny baby boy outfits and do-dads. It definitely made things seem a little more real. Here are some pictures from the day.

All of the wonderful food

My friend Nicole made me THE cutest diaper motorcycle! I didn't want to take it apart. It was amazing! I loved it. 

The wonderful women who threw me the shower. Love them.

30 Weeks!

I'm 30 weeks today! Whoa! Only 10ish to go. This is definitely getting more real. And we are getting REALLY excited! 

Here is a little rundown of how I have been feeling lately...

-I still have really bad heartburn. The peppermint tea didn't seem to help much. I ended up getting Prevacid or something that I take once a day. It only takes the edge off. I may need to find something else. 

-My pelvis hurts. A lot. Some days it feels like my tailbone is broken. I can't walk on the treadmill anymore. I can't really walk hardly at all anymore. Even going to the grocery store is killer! My midwife told me to do yoga instead of walking. Haven't started that yet. I need to find a good prenatal yoga dvd. 

-I started noticing this weird headache I've been getting. It's only on the top left of my head. It comes and goes. Once I change positions or eat or drink something, it goes right away. It's the strangest thing. 

-This is going to sound silly. I have had so many ingrown toe nails! My toes hurt all the time! I never used to get them. Like ever. I'm not sure why this is happening so I'm blaming it on pregnancy.

-About a week ago, I noticed I got my first stretch marks on my belly. Well, 3 actually. No more young belly. I'm probably going to get a billion more before this baby is born.

-A week ago I felt the baby have hiccups for the first time! That was cool. Cory got to feel it the other day too. 

I will try to keep updated on my pregger pictures. I'm sorry it's been like 8 weeks since I have posted one!

A little something I learned today...

I need to lay off the Tums.

This picture describes almost perfectly how I felt about Tums a few days ago. Yes, I found it from Google images.

I happened to learn this little piece of information from my Hypnobabies home study course. This week I'm learning about nutrition during pregnancy. I need lots of protein. I need lots of calcium... Yeah, yeah I know. Taking Tums is bad... wait what?? ( it was not phrased that way of course). I was taking Tums for my heartburn. What I learned is this--Tums neutralizes stomach acid (duh). But protein and calcium can't be absorbed properly without acid. Antacids such as Tums "deplete the body of proteins and calcium." When A LOT are taken, it can affect the liver, " thereby causing toxemia" (a.k.a. pre-eclampsia). Of course if you're getting what you need, you won't have this problem. But in my case, since I have been taking many many Tums, it made me take a step back. I should probably hold off on those as much as I can.

Another interesting fact: Taking Tums as a calcium supplement is practically useless. You need magnesium and vitamin D in order for calcium to be absorbed and used properly. I have never taken Tums for that reason but if I hated milk or were lactose intolerant, I probably would. Let's face it. Tums tastes amazing. It's like candy. Luckily I absolutely love milk. Whole milk especially. I've struggled with adjusting to 1% since W.I.C. doesn't pay for whole milk until the baby is born. Trust me, this has been cruel. I'm getting off track... The reason I mention this is because I have always wondered how great of a calcium supplement Tums actually is. They claim to be an excellent source of calcium. Now I know. 

Because Hypnobabies is so great (I'm sorry. I love Hypnobabies right now), they have compiled a few things you can do to ease heartburn.

-Eat several small snack-meals rather than 3 big meals.

-Drink liquids separately from solid food.

-Avoid greasy or heavily spiced foods. (This one is hard for me because I love spicy food)

-Sit up after you eat anything.

What they say can ease heartburn:

-Papaya enzymes (whatever that is), or drink papaya juice (that is probably disgusting so I won't attempt that one).

-Ginger

-Peppermint tea

-Almond milk

-Apple cider vinegar

-Hansen's Natural Soda

How to neutralize pH level:

-Add lime juice to your water

-Add 1/8 tsp of baking soda to 2 oz of water

I must say that I have already tried eating small meals, standing or sitting after I eat, and tried not to drink anything with my food. The only thing that slightly helped was drinking throughout the day and not with my food. But that is extremely hard to do! And it does not matter what I eat, I always get heartburn. Most of the time it's not right after I eat. It's several hours after I eat. Usually at night. So, I'm going to try some of these things to see if they help. Next time I'm at the store, I'm getting me some peppermint tea!

My Current Craze

I would like to apologize right now to those who follow me on Pinterest for all of my maternity pic pins. I am obsessed. I really should not have spent all morning searching the internet for photos I like. Let me explain myself before you all stop following me. Honestly, I'm not a big fan of maternity pictures. Most of the time I think they are weird and cheesy. But for some reason I still want to have them done! Over the past few weeks I have been going back and forth on whether this would actually be fun. I must say that after an entire morning of hunting Pinterest and blogs, I now REALLY want to do it. I feel a lot more confident.

I mean, how beautiful is this....

And how cute is this...

Now I need to find something to wear...

What I Didn't Expect With Pregnancy

-Not being able to stand for very long without feeling dizzy or lightheaded.

-Having Braxton Hicks as early as 18 weeks AND getting like 10 a day despite being hydrated.

-Rolling over in the middle of the night to find my shirt wet... This early! ( I know, I know. TMI) But I'm still in shock with this one.

-Carrying Tums around with me everywhere because my indigestion is so bad. 

-Not being able to sleep. Not because I'm uncomfortable. Because this baby won't stop kicking! :) 

-Speaking of sleeping, I did not know I would have trouble breathing this early. Isn't this all supposed to come very late in the 3rd trimester?? My midwife told me some women have to sleep in a recliner. BLEH.

-I have not had a headache in 6 weeks! I did not think this was even possible for me. Of course now I'm going to get one. I am thrilled nonetheless! 

-The sudden appearance of stretchmarks. They honestly came overnight...

-Waves of breakouts. I thought I would be over with this in the first trimester and my skin would be GLOWING during the second trimester...?

-Cory says he loves this baby more than me. Cute huh?

And... I'm 22 weeks today.

Ultrasound Video

Watch to find out the sex!

20 week pics + May & June Crafts

I'm 20 weeks!!! Yay! Here are my 20 week pictures for those who don't live near me. We find out the sex this week!

I have finally gotten around to posting about the past couple of crafts I have done. Honestly, I didn't do anything in May except lay on the couch. I did these two in June to make up for May. And I even broke out my sewing machine for the first time ever! The first one I did was a maternity band found here.

 This didn't turn out how I expected. It doesn't seem to fit me right and it seems big. Maybe I'm not big enough to wear it. It may have something to do with the type of fabric I used. I think the fabric is too stretchy and too thick. I may end up making another one and if that is the case, I will definitely use a different fabric. 

I also made some adorable bookmarks. I found the tutorial here. I made a practice one and sent another one to my sister Eden for her birthday. Thank you Rachel for the scrap fabric! 

I was not too happy with either one of these. Those corners were hard. If I sew in a straight line, I do alright. It's when I need to curve or turn when I sew that things go askew. I wish I was perfect at sewing without really having to try. But I'm not.

To end on a good note, my next post will be on our ultrasound! We can't wait! :)